Of Wounds and Bandages
by GayWarden11
Summary: A regular Deep Roads patrol can't possibly go wrong, right?


This was prompted as a drabble of Ella killing Meiriana. Yikes, amirite. So, this is your **warning that there's a major character death here.**

* * *

"I don't like it here. It's so… closed."

Ella nodded. She shared Meiriana's distaste for the Deep Roads, but they were Grey Wardens. They had to make eventual patrols in it, because, well, if they didn't no one else would, and that would mean even more darkspawn raids.

"At least it's the last patrol, then we can go back home to Leli." She tried to keep herself positive. It had been weeks since they'd left their girlfriend, the new Divine, in Val Royeaux to check up on the reports of unusual Darkspawn raids. They both missed her a lot, and she was sure the Divine missed them too. She sighed.

"It's been way too long."

Meiriana hummed and nodded in agreement. Ever since Ella had come back, almost two years ago, with the cure to the Taint, the three of them had become almost inseparable. Of course, they all had their duties to attend, but they'd never gone this long without being together.

"When we get out of here, I want ice cream."

Ella smiled at Meiriana, completely endeared by the elf. "Of course, love."

They continued patrolling that part of the Deep Roads, eventually talking, for some time.

Ella was mid sentence when both she and Meiriana froze. They looked at each other and moved their hands to their weapons.

"Darkspawn?" Ella asked, unsheathing her sword and moving slightly closer to the source or the noise. Ever since they'd lost their Taint, they had to rely on their other senses to try to detect darkspawn, and Meiriana was the one who had the best hearing. Meiriana nodded, readying an arrow.

In a matter of seconds, what they both sensed appeared. It was indeed a group of darkspawn, but this one was particularly big, larger than what they'd faced in the routine patrols, with no Blight and thus no Archdemon to guide them.

"Well, shit" Ella whispered, more to herself than anything else. Despite their situation, Meiriana smiled a little at her girlfriend.

And then the first hurlocks started to move towards them, so Ella ran to meet them. While she did, Meiriana shot at the ones that were farther from the warrior. She managed to kill at least two until Ella got to the first hurlock, bashing its face with her shield, which made it flinch for a moment, and using that opening to slash it across its chest. Ella didn't even turn to check if it died, as she had to block an attack from another hurlock. An arrow sailed past her shoulder and buried itself in a genlock's neck. She tried to slash the hurlock, but it blocked her with its own sword.

Ella took a few deep breaths, focusing on her enemy, but also opening that one part of her mind that connected her to the Fade. She smirked as she felt the familiar tingling of the small part of the Fade she could reach while conscious.

When it was enough, she let go of the energy, causing a burst of energy in a small area close to her. It was enough to stop some darkspawn, which were readily dispatched with a few arrows from Meiriana. The hurlock she had been locked with fell, having taken the brunt of the small explosion.

"Ella" Meiriana called "I don't have many arrows left."

The brown haired warrior nodded, showing that she'd heard Meiriana, as she threw herself at another group of hurlocks, glowing, now, with a fade-ish hue, as if she'd been cloaked with something. Her movements seemed to be slightly faster, but Ella's breathing started come off more frequently and heavier the moment the aura appeared. However, even they, seasoned warriors as they were, were only two people fighting against a big group of enemies. When a hurlock came at her, Ella raised her sword to stop its own, and noticed that her reflex had been slightly slower than usual. When their swords collided, making that characteristic clang of metal on metal, Ella found herself losing that competition of strength. She kicked it in the knees, unbancing it, and finished it.

Ella's breathing was getting heavier, especially since keeping her fade cloak was draining a lot of her energy. So, after killing a few darkspawn, she had to stop for a couple of seconds, trusting that Meiriana would keep her safe, so she could drink a stamina draught. No darkspawn tried to kill her, so no arrows flew.

"Come on, that's almost all of them."

There were only two darkspawn, a hurlock and a genlock, left in front of her. She gathered what strength she had left, which was more than she should have by now, because of the draught, and charged the two of them. Ella went after the hurlock first, running him over quite easily, but then felt a sword stabbing her calf. The part where her armor didn't cover.

The genlock.

Ella managed to bash it with her shield enough for it to get away from her and not do any permanent damage. She fell down as it ran up to her, but blocked its blow with her shield, thrusting her sword up to its unprotected chest. She hit her mark, pushing it off her to avoid too much contact with darkspawn blood.

It was then, with the rush of the battle leaving her, that Ella noticed that the arrows had stopped flying. Maybe Meiriana had run out of arrows. She did say so. When Ella turned back to where she had come from, however, what she saw shocked her.

Meiriana, her bow snapped in two, kneeling down with a fallen hurlock in front of her. She seemed hurt, if the way she was clutching her arm was any indication.

"Meiri!" Ella tried to scream and run to her, but ended up wincing because the wound in her leg reminded Ella that she couldn't run. Yet. So, she walked as fast as she could to where her girlfriend was.

When, after what seemed like an eternity, Ella arrived, she noticed that there was something horribly wrong. Meiriana's breathing was erratic and she refused to look up at her.

"Meiri." she said, gently. "Please, can I see your wounds? I have bandages."

She was surprised when Meiriana shook her head no.

"It won't… I won't need them. I… I can feel it."

"Feel what?" Ella had a growing sense of dread, but she pushed it away as best as she could.

"It's… I thought it was over… that we wouldn't have to… worry about it again… but now…" Meiriana tailed off, leaving Ella more confused than she was before, but the feeling of dread continued to grow.

"What are you talking about?"

And then Meiriana turned to face her. Ella almost burst into tears right there and then.

Meiriana's face had the distinct markings of the blight disease.

"No." Ella said, still frozen in shock "N-no, it can't… I thought… the cure would make us immune?" Her voice was shaking, as were her hands. "Okay, let me see if I can Join you I-" she was interrupted by Meiriana's hand on her arm, but that didn't stop the flood of emotions that were rushing through her.

 _How did this happen? How could I let this happen? She's… no, I can't think it. There must be another way. Any way._

"You… know there's no t-time." Meiriana winced. She was talking slowly. "You know what… you have to do." She was clearly trying to stay strong for Ella - as if she wasn't the one with those horrible, horrible markings. Typical. -, but there was no hiding the fear shining in her eyes.

"No." Ella shook her head, holding back the tears that were forming. "No. I-I can't. I won't lose you. Not like this. I can't" her voice broke "lose you."

 _I've already lost too much to this damn Blight. Please, Maker, please help me save her. Give me something. Anything. Please._

"I'm… sorry, I should've been… more careful. But now we… don't have the time. We both know it. I… I can feel it inside me. It won't be long now. Ella, please."

"Maker, Meiri. I…" Ella closed her eyes and shook her head, the tears she wasn't able to hold back running lazily through her cheeks "I know, but…"

 _Maker, please, save her. That's all. Please! Help me save her._

And then Meiriana's hand was on Ella's cheek, brushing the tears away. It was both shaking slightly and colder than usual.

"I'm sorry, ara'asha. Use your bandages and go."

Ella knew what she had to do. She knew, rationally, that there was no way Meiriana would walk out of this alive. Still, that knowledge didn't make what she had to do next any easier.

 _Maker, please! Take me if you must! Just save, her, please!_

"I love you. I love you, so much." She heard herself saying. Meiriana smiled.

"Then live, ma vhenan."

Ella unsheathed the dagger she kept for emergencies, but kept it far from her as she buried her face on Meiriana's shoulder, in a way similar to how she'd cuddled with her multiple times before. The difference was that she wasn't feeling as if her world was crashing and burning in any of those times.

"You'll have that ice cream for me, won't you?"

Ella tried to chuckle, but it came out in that way that only happens when you're really trying not to cry.

"Of course."

She pulled away from Meiriana, then thought better and kissed her forehead.

"Elgara vallas, emma lath, ara ma'desen melar." Ella said. She'd been asking Velanna to teach her some words. "Ar lasa mala revas."

Meiriana looked pleasantly surprised, as much as she could, given her situation.

"Ma ghilana mir din'an" she answered.

And so, Ella took the dagger she was holding and, with the precision of someone that had done this very same thing before, pierced her girlfriend's heart. Even if it was to save her from a fate worse than death, Ella felt her heart be crushed as she watched the light go out from Meiriana's eyes.

As the life left Meiriana, so did a part of Ella. She thought of all the times they'd been together, from their meeting at her camp, to Ostagar, to meeting Leliana, and falling in love with them. She thought of the party right after the Blight had ended, of her and Meiriana being near each other throughout the whole event, then of them talking, laughing, kissing, and dancing. She thought of all the times she'd comforted Meiriana after she had a nightmare, and of all the times Meiriana had comforted her after one of her own nightmares.

Gone.

Ella closed Meiriana's eyes for the last time and looked over her girlfriend's body. Now that she was alone, she had no reason to hold back her tears. She collapsed against Meiriana's body, her own sobs shaking both of their bodies, and Ella almost expected to feel one of Meiriana's hands running through her hair, while she whispered comforting words.

Nothing happened.

After what felt like an eternity, Ella got up and moved, mechanically, to bandage her own wounds.

However, some of them could never be healed.

* * *

 _Elgara vallas, emma lath, ara ma'desen melar. Ar lasa mala revas = Sun sets, my love, but I will hold you here. You are free._

 _Ma ghilana mir din'an = Guide me into death_

 _Ara'asha / 'Ma'ahsa = Wife/girlfriend. Lit. my woman_

 _Ara vhen'an/'Ma vhen'an = My home/my heart. Similar to 'my love,' or 'my darling,' but signifying a much deeper connection. Essentially means, "Where you are, that is my home."_


End file.
